My Very Own Sophie's Choice

Ok, everyone, I know there has been a lot of speculation and tittle tattle out there, so I am just going to come out and officially release my statement on this controversial topic. After countless hours spent doing research to officially come to this decision, I can safely say that I am firm in my conclusion: TV is better than movies. Let’s take a look at my findings on the matter:
1. Where have all the new plots gone? I am becoming increasingly disappointed in the level of creativity being exhibited in movies. My heart literally bled when I heard they were remaking Girls Just Wanna Have Fun. (I swear if anyone who has ever been on the Disney Channel is in this someone is going to get fork stabbed. That goes doubly if said twit is wearing a large cricket in her hair. Some things are sacred.) Why can’t they lay off the classics? Footloose? Romancing the Stone? MY FAIR LADY? For shame. And the thing that really gets my goat is that I will probably go see all of them. I’m weak. Now I realize that television is starting to follow suit (Hawaii 5-O, Rockford Files, and Nikita, I’m talking to you!), but I still don’t see them to be quite as guilty in this respect.
2. TV is the Everlasting Gobstopper of entertainment. With this statement, I am referring to the hypothetical candy in the 1971 classic film that is actually everlasting. Layer upon layer of sugary goodness until you reach the center years later or you accidentally swallow it (cancellation). Movies are like the Gobstopper that you can buy at your local grocery store: finished in two bites.
3. I believe the children are our future, and we are insulting their intelligence by making every movie for them in 3D. In my day, we watched our cartoons in 2D and we paid a lot less to watch them! TV shows aren’t resorting to these gimmicks… yet. And I wish they would stop trying.
4. Step it Up 2: The Streets, Movies! I speak here in generalities, but I have been more impressed with the quality of TV being produced than that being exhibited in movies. Granted the trash on TV is much more disheartening than that in theatres, but I would hope that movies would try harder to match some of the greatness that is on TV right now.
5. Now I ain’t sayin’ she’s a gold digger… I really have nothing to say here except that TV has affordability strongly in its favor, and movies are getting pretty greedy.
Movies were my first love. I could never forget the good times that we have shared. They will always be a huge part of my life and as per the divorce settlement, I will still be spending way too much on them every month. Maybe you will say that I am siding with TV because my feelings are fresh and new, but say what you will. All I know is I feel young again when I am with TV, and it gives me what I need in a relationship…with an entertainment medium. You can look forward to our Christmas letter.

I See Fake People.

I had a rough night last night. After watching “Fashion Police: Primetime Emmys Edition” like I did, you would have, too. First, let’s move past the part where we judge me for watching anything on E! besides The Soup. And no, the fashion was not SO horrible that it caused night terrors. No, it was this:

Yes, my night was filled with Gangy – esque hauntings. Why are we still letting Joan Rivers on the air? Why are we as a society encouraging this kind of behavior? And I am not only talking about the dozens of face lifts. She is mean! She said that Anna Paquin must have bought her teeth at the Gap. Really, Joan? We’re going to go there? Where did you buy your face? A Tupperware party? Oh, snap!!

My Latest Obsession: White Collar

Don't worry, I am still a vigilant Bones, Psych, etc. -fan, but what is a girl supposed to do during these summer hiatuses except find a new show? With my mom scheduling us for the panel at Comic Con (more on that to come), everyone telling me I should watch it, and then this picture, White Collar just seemed like a natural choice to cure the Summertime Blues that only TV watchers suffer from.
If you are not one of the people that hounded me about watching this show and you are not watching, I suggest you change that ASAP. It is good fun. I love watching Neal and Peter develop their "besties" relationship.
I will be honest, I was at first reticent because I thought the star, Matt Bomer, was too pretty for my next TV crush. I mean look at the picture above! But once I watched the show and realized that he is not naturally airbrushed, he's devastatingly charming, and, in some episodes, shirtless, I was sold. I think you will be, too.

Just because I like it...

Famous
by Naomi Shihab Nye

The river is famous to the fish.

The loud voice is famous to silence,
which knew it would inherit the earth
before anybody said so.

The cat sleeping on the fence is famous to the birds
watching him from the birdhouse.

The tear is famous, briefly, to the cheek.

The idea you carry close your bosom
is famous to your bosom.

The boot is famous to the earth,
more famous than the dress shoe,
which is famous only to floors.

The bent photograph is famous to the one who carries it
and is not at all famous to the one who is pictured.

I want to be famous to shuffling men
who smile while crossing streets,
sticky children in grocery lines,
famous as the one who smiled back.

I want to be famous in the way a pulley is famous,
or a buttonhole, not because it did anything spectacular,
but because it never forgot what it could do.

All I Need Now is to Move to Florida: Day 1

Due to the fact that I have nothing better to do for the next four months, I will be doing a little experiment. For the next four months, I plan to live the lifestyle of a retiree. Perhaps a blog about living the life of an old person is in itself counter-productive, given the fact that I had to spend an hour explaining the concept of a blog to my grandpa not too long ago, but I had to publish my findings in some manner and the Pulitzer committee rejected my application.
A potential warning about this experiment is that the blog may get a little monotonous at times because my days will consist of such things as going to the bank or the public library (more to come on that later), but I plan on making it as enjoyable as possible.
Day 1 of the experiment was more planning than anything. The night before, I mapped out my day with the following activities: workout at health club, go deposit checks, go to public library to get library card renewed, laundry, and go to the temple. Now you may be saying to yourself, "Wow, that sounds really exciting, Ellen." I can assure you that it was. Not in the fast-paced mode that people my age may be after, but it was exciting to putter around town doing whatever the heck I wanted to do.
When I was at the gym, I asked about classes that they have and after carefully dissecting the list of options, I have decided on three to do throughout the week. On Mondays and Wednesdays, I will participate in BodyVive which is a "Low impact class integrating cardio and resistance intervals with stretching and mobility work, all set to the songs of the 60's and 70's." What I glean from this is Jazzercise. On Tuesdays and Thursdays, I will be participating in a yoga class geared towards senior citizens, which will probably be more my level anyways. I think I may also attend the fencing class that they hold on Wednesday nights (even though it is way past 9:00 bedtime). Last, but certainly not least, on Fridays, I signed up for a water aerobics class called "Noodle Mania". I think I can just leave it at that. Whether you want it or not, I will be reporting back with a description on all of them. Until then...

My Latest Obsession: Bones

When I use the word obsession here, it is being used in the most potent way possible. I don't even know where to begin in describing my love for this show. Instead let me tell you about how Bones and I had a difficult journey in finding each other. Those of you who know me know that I am hooked on way too many shows as it is. My Season Pass list on Tivo is far, far too lengthy. I have had to stop myself from watching shows like Lost, House, and 24 because from what I have heard about those, I simply don't have the energy and time to commit in wrapping my head around them.
When I had heard about Bones when it first came out, I thought while I love a mystery show that is rife with sexual tension as much as the next girl, I just can't do it. I already have too many shows. This is the part in the story that is very telling about what will get me interested in a show: On my favorite website ever, ew.com (read it, study it, love it), they released a spoiler stating that the two main characters of Bones, Booth and Brennan, would FINALLY be hitting the sheets...so I decided to give it a go. I had just finished finals and had about a week of nothing to do. I spent that week watching seasons 1, 2, 3, and 4 online with Japanese subtitles. I was hooked, plain and simple. You grow so attached to all of the characters and I became addicted to those sexual-tension moments of the show. Like a junkie, I got the shakes until I got my next fix. It also didn't help matters that Booth is now my numero uno fictional crush.
While the spoiled moment about Booth and Brennan knocking boots was a bit of a letdown, I don't even care because it was the catalyst for my discovery of this show. While I definitely need to quell my obsession for this show (I have watched all four seasons, all the way through, at least three times now), that will be for another day, because for now, I am happy living in my fangirl bubble.

Anybody have a thousand dollars they want to loan me?

Today, I stumbled upon a charity auction on eBay that got me thinking. The auction is for The Adrienne Shelly Foundation, which supports women filmmakers, and they are offering lunch with some of your favorite celebrities! Among the list is Jeremy Sisto (Clueless, Law & Order), Keri Russell (The Waitress, Felicity), Paul Rudd (any Judd Apatow movie, Anchorman, Role Models), Nathan Fillion (Castle, Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog), David Schwimmer (Friends, Band of Brothers), Ally Sheedy (Breakfast Club), Jon Hamm (Mad Men, 30 Rock), Rachel Dratch (Saturday Night Live), and Kevin Smith (Catch and Release, Jay and Silent Bob). Strangely enough, the current top bid with $3,050 (subject to change) is going to Kevin Smith, who I am sure would make for a very entertaining lunch guest but he would not be my first choice. I mean, have you seen Paul Rudd? Adorable, right? And, for my sense of humor, I think Paul Rudd would be equally if not more entertaining (See any movie he has ever been in). Second place, would go to Jon Hamm, who is pretty dreamy on Mad Men and, I recently found out, is good friends with Paul Rudd. He could come, too!
However, if I were to pick my optimal lunch guest outside the list, it would definitely be Tina Fey. Mainly, because she is my hero.

How about you, readers? Who would your ideal lunch be with? Don't go cheesy on me and say your family or something? Be honset!