Recently, I realized that there are more than a few things that I enjoy with shame. You know what I am talking about. The shows that you watch with your hand over the channel change button in case someone comes in or the music you listen to only with headphones. But why is this? Obviously, if these things are still being produced then I can’t be alone. So I decided to come clean about the things I am embarrassed about to the two of you who read this blog. You can let me know in the comments if I am alone in these pleasures or you can even use this as a sort of confessional about your own shameful methods of entertainment. This is a judge-free zone.
10. Chick Lit – Anyone who has been to a bookstore with me can tell you that my method of browsing is shameful. I keep my eye open for pink covers and curly fonts. I feel that with a BA in English I should find more enjoyment in highbrow literature, but I still revert to my rosy bookshelf when I have free time. I constantly thanked heaven for Jane Austen being considered an appropriate subject for theses.
9. Bollywood Dance Workout- Look it up. I dare you not to enjoy working out to these.
8. Say Yes to the Dress- I am not ashamed of watching this show. I AM ashamed of the four hour marathons, though. And I’m ashamed of the realization that I will be one of those brides who cries in the showroom because I can’t make a decision.
7. Time Life commercials- If I am flipping through the channels late at night and one of these infomercials for a compilation CD is on, I will always stop. What can I say? I love having Malt Shoppe Memories one line of a song at time.
6. Taylor Swift- My shame here lies in the fact that I am not a fifteen-year-old girl and that I already own the two singles from her yet unreleased album. And I like them.
5. Dance movies- No matter how bad the movie is, I will watch any dance movie for the last fifteen minutes. (See: the rain scene in Step Up 2: The Streets, the onstage-sex-ballet in Center Stage, the ménage à tango in Take the Lead)
4. Vampire Diaries- This one has a lot of things working against it: Vampires, primetime soap, audience mainly comprising of tween girls, CW. But it’s like Pringles, once you pop, the fun don’t stop. I watched one episode and got hooked. And no, it wasn’t just because of this.
3. Kesha- The very definition of “dirty pirate hooker”. I am well aware that she cannot sing to save her life, that her lyrics include dental hygiene by whiskey, and that she lusts after Mick Jagger (shudder), but I can’t help myself. I too want to party ‘til the po-po shut us down.
2. This song- Call it nostalgia, call it a weird affinity for really kitschy stuff from the 80s, call it bad taste in music, call it whatever you want, but I love this song. The truly embarrassing factor is the lengths I took to track down a downloadable version of the song and album artwork.
1. Bones fanfiction – Disgrace numero uno. I am too ashamed to even explain what it is. Just look it up. (Hangs head in shame). But also remember that people have to write it in order for me to read it.
So there you have it. Can we still be friends?
Friday, October 8, 2010
Thursday, September 2, 2010
My Very Own Sophie's Choice
Ok, everyone, I know there has been a lot of speculation and tittle tattle out there, so I am just going to come out and officially release my statement on this controversial topic. After countless hours spent doing research to officially come to this decision, I can safely say that I am firm in my conclusion: TV is better than movies. Let’s take a look at my findings on the matter:
1. Where have all the new plots gone? I am becoming increasingly disappointed in the level of creativity being exhibited in movies. My heart literally bled when I heard they were remaking Girls Just Wanna Have Fun. (I swear if anyone who has ever been on the Disney Channel is in this someone is going to get fork stabbed. That goes doubly if said twit is wearing a large cricket in her hair. Some things are sacred.) Why can’t they lay off the classics? Footloose? Romancing the Stone? MY FAIR LADY? For shame. And the thing that really gets my goat is that I will probably go see all of them. I’m weak. Now I realize that television is starting to follow suit (Hawaii 5-O, Rockford Files, and Nikita, I’m talking to you!), but I still don’t see them to be quite as guilty in this respect.
2. TV is the Everlasting Gobstopper of entertainment. With this statement, I am referring to the hypothetical candy in the 1971 classic film that is actually everlasting. Layer upon layer of sugary goodness until you reach the center years later or you accidentally swallow it (cancellation). Movies are like the Gobstopper that you can buy at your local grocery store: finished in two bites.
3. I believe the children are our future, and we are insulting their intelligence by making every movie for them in 3D. In my day, we watched our cartoons in 2D and we paid a lot less to watch them! TV shows aren’t resorting to these gimmicks… yet. And I wish they would stop trying.
4. Step it Up 2: The Streets, Movies! I speak here in generalities, but I have been more impressed with the quality of TV being produced than that being exhibited in movies. Granted the trash on TV is much more disheartening than that in theatres, but I would hope that movies would try harder to match some of the greatness that is on TV right now.
5. Now I ain’t sayin’ she’s a gold digger… I really have nothing to say here except that TV has affordability strongly in its favor, and movies are getting pretty greedy.
Movies were my first love. I could never forget the good times that we have shared. They will always be a huge part of my life and as per the divorce settlement, I will still be spending way too much on them every month. Maybe you will say that I am siding with TV because my feelings are fresh and new, but say what you will. All I know is I feel young again when I am with TV, and it gives me what I need in a relationship…with an entertainment medium. You can look forward to our Christmas letter.
1. Where have all the new plots gone? I am becoming increasingly disappointed in the level of creativity being exhibited in movies. My heart literally bled when I heard they were remaking Girls Just Wanna Have Fun. (I swear if anyone who has ever been on the Disney Channel is in this someone is going to get fork stabbed. That goes doubly if said twit is wearing a large cricket in her hair. Some things are sacred.) Why can’t they lay off the classics? Footloose? Romancing the Stone? MY FAIR LADY? For shame. And the thing that really gets my goat is that I will probably go see all of them. I’m weak. Now I realize that television is starting to follow suit (Hawaii 5-O, Rockford Files, and Nikita, I’m talking to you!), but I still don’t see them to be quite as guilty in this respect.
2. TV is the Everlasting Gobstopper of entertainment. With this statement, I am referring to the hypothetical candy in the 1971 classic film that is actually everlasting. Layer upon layer of sugary goodness until you reach the center years later or you accidentally swallow it (cancellation). Movies are like the Gobstopper that you can buy at your local grocery store: finished in two bites.
3. I believe the children are our future, and we are insulting their intelligence by making every movie for them in 3D. In my day, we watched our cartoons in 2D and we paid a lot less to watch them! TV shows aren’t resorting to these gimmicks… yet. And I wish they would stop trying.
4. Step it Up 2: The Streets, Movies! I speak here in generalities, but I have been more impressed with the quality of TV being produced than that being exhibited in movies. Granted the trash on TV is much more disheartening than that in theatres, but I would hope that movies would try harder to match some of the greatness that is on TV right now.
5. Now I ain’t sayin’ she’s a gold digger… I really have nothing to say here except that TV has affordability strongly in its favor, and movies are getting pretty greedy.
Movies were my first love. I could never forget the good times that we have shared. They will always be a huge part of my life and as per the divorce settlement, I will still be spending way too much on them every month. Maybe you will say that I am siding with TV because my feelings are fresh and new, but say what you will. All I know is I feel young again when I am with TV, and it gives me what I need in a relationship…with an entertainment medium. You can look forward to our Christmas letter.
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
I See Fake People.
I had a rough night last night. After watching “Fashion Police: Primetime Emmys Edition” like I did, you would have, too. First, let’s move past the part where we judge me for watching anything on E! besides The Soup. And no, the fashion was not SO horrible that it caused night terrors. No, it was this:
Yes, my night was filled with Gangy – esque hauntings. Why are we still letting Joan Rivers on the air? Why are we as a society encouraging this kind of behavior? And I am not only talking about the dozens of face lifts. She is mean! She said that Anna Paquin must have bought her teeth at the Gap. Really, Joan? We’re going to go there? Where did you buy your face? A Tupperware party? Oh, snap!!
Yes, my night was filled with Gangy – esque hauntings. Why are we still letting Joan Rivers on the air? Why are we as a society encouraging this kind of behavior? And I am not only talking about the dozens of face lifts. She is mean! She said that Anna Paquin must have bought her teeth at the Gap. Really, Joan? We’re going to go there? Where did you buy your face? A Tupperware party? Oh, snap!!
Monday, July 19, 2010
My Latest Obsession: White Collar
Don't worry, I am still a vigilant Bones, Psych, etc. -fan, but what is a girl supposed to do during these summer hiatuses except find a new show? With my mom scheduling us for the panel at Comic Con (more on that to come), everyone telling me I should watch it, and then this picture, White Collar just seemed like a natural choice to cure the Summertime Blues that only TV watchers suffer from.
If you are not one of the people that hounded me about watching this show and you are not watching, I suggest you change that ASAP. It is good fun. I love watching Neal and Peter develop their "besties" relationship.
I will be honest, I was at first reticent because I thought the star, Matt Bomer, was too pretty for my next TV crush. I mean look at the picture above! But once I watched the show and realized that he is not naturally airbrushed, he's devastatingly charming, and, in some episodes, shirtless, I was sold. I think you will be, too.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Just because I like it...
Famous
by Naomi Shihab Nye
The river is famous to the fish.
The loud voice is famous to silence,
which knew it would inherit the earth
before anybody said so.
The cat sleeping on the fence is famous to the birds
watching him from the birdhouse.
The tear is famous, briefly, to the cheek.
The idea you carry close your bosom
is famous to your bosom.
The boot is famous to the earth,
more famous than the dress shoe,
which is famous only to floors.
The bent photograph is famous to the one who carries it
and is not at all famous to the one who is pictured.
I want to be famous to shuffling men
who smile while crossing streets,
sticky children in grocery lines,
famous as the one who smiled back.
I want to be famous in the way a pulley is famous,
or a buttonhole, not because it did anything spectacular,
but because it never forgot what it could do.
by Naomi Shihab Nye
The river is famous to the fish.
The loud voice is famous to silence,
which knew it would inherit the earth
before anybody said so.
The cat sleeping on the fence is famous to the birds
watching him from the birdhouse.
The tear is famous, briefly, to the cheek.
The idea you carry close your bosom
is famous to your bosom.
The boot is famous to the earth,
more famous than the dress shoe,
which is famous only to floors.
The bent photograph is famous to the one who carries it
and is not at all famous to the one who is pictured.
I want to be famous to shuffling men
who smile while crossing streets,
sticky children in grocery lines,
famous as the one who smiled back.
I want to be famous in the way a pulley is famous,
or a buttonhole, not because it did anything spectacular,
but because it never forgot what it could do.
All I Need Now is to Move to Florida: Day 1
Due to the fact that I have nothing better to do for the next four months, I will be doing a little experiment. For the next four months, I plan to live the lifestyle of a retiree. Perhaps a blog about living the life of an old person is in itself counter-productive, given the fact that I had to spend an hour explaining the concept of a blog to my grandpa not too long ago, but I had to publish my findings in some manner and the Pulitzer committee rejected my application.
A potential warning about this experiment is that the blog may get a little monotonous at times because my days will consist of such things as going to the bank or the public library (more to come on that later), but I plan on making it as enjoyable as possible.
Day 1 of the experiment was more planning than anything. The night before, I mapped out my day with the following activities: workout at health club, go deposit checks, go to public library to get library card renewed, laundry, and go to the temple. Now you may be saying to yourself, "Wow, that sounds really exciting, Ellen." I can assure you that it was. Not in the fast-paced mode that people my age may be after, but it was exciting to putter around town doing whatever the heck I wanted to do.
When I was at the gym, I asked about classes that they have and after carefully dissecting the list of options, I have decided on three to do throughout the week. On Mondays and Wednesdays, I will participate in BodyVive which is a "Low impact class integrating cardio and resistance intervals with stretching and mobility work, all set to the songs of the 60's and 70's." What I glean from this is Jazzercise. On Tuesdays and Thursdays, I will be participating in a yoga class geared towards senior citizens, which will probably be more my level anyways. I think I may also attend the fencing class that they hold on Wednesday nights (even though it is way past 9:00 bedtime). Last, but certainly not least, on Fridays, I signed up for a water aerobics class called "Noodle Mania". I think I can just leave it at that. Whether you want it or not, I will be reporting back with a description on all of them. Until then...
A potential warning about this experiment is that the blog may get a little monotonous at times because my days will consist of such things as going to the bank or the public library (more to come on that later), but I plan on making it as enjoyable as possible.
Day 1 of the experiment was more planning than anything. The night before, I mapped out my day with the following activities: workout at health club, go deposit checks, go to public library to get library card renewed, laundry, and go to the temple. Now you may be saying to yourself, "Wow, that sounds really exciting, Ellen." I can assure you that it was. Not in the fast-paced mode that people my age may be after, but it was exciting to putter around town doing whatever the heck I wanted to do.
When I was at the gym, I asked about classes that they have and after carefully dissecting the list of options, I have decided on three to do throughout the week. On Mondays and Wednesdays, I will participate in BodyVive which is a "Low impact class integrating cardio and resistance intervals with stretching and mobility work, all set to the songs of the 60's and 70's." What I glean from this is Jazzercise. On Tuesdays and Thursdays, I will be participating in a yoga class geared towards senior citizens, which will probably be more my level anyways. I think I may also attend the fencing class that they hold on Wednesday nights (even though it is way past 9:00 bedtime). Last, but certainly not least, on Fridays, I signed up for a water aerobics class called "Noodle Mania". I think I can just leave it at that. Whether you want it or not, I will be reporting back with a description on all of them. Until then...
Thursday, July 30, 2009
My Latest Obsession: Bones
When I use the word obsession here, it is being used in the most potent way possible. I don't even know where to begin in describing my love for this show. Instead let me tell you about how Bones and I had a difficult journey in finding each other. Those of you who know me know that I am hooked on way too many shows as it is. My Season Pass list on Tivo is far, far too lengthy. I have had to stop myself from watching shows like Lost, House, and 24 because from what I have heard about those, I simply don't have the energy and time to commit in wrapping my head around them.
When I had heard about Bones when it first came out, I thought while I love a mystery show that is rife with sexual tension as much as the next girl, I just can't do it. I already have too many shows. This is the part in the story that is very telling about what will get me interested in a show: On my favorite website ever, ew.com (read it, study it, love it), they released a spoiler stating that the two main characters of Bones, Booth and Brennan, would FINALLY be hitting the sheets...so I decided to give it a go. I had just finished finals and had about a week of nothing to do. I spent that week watching seasons 1, 2, 3, and 4 online with Japanese subtitles. I was hooked, plain and simple. You grow so attached to all of the characters and I became addicted to those sexual-tension moments of the show. Like a junkie, I got the shakes until I got my next fix. It also didn't help matters that Booth is now my numero uno fictional crush.
While the spoiled moment about Booth and Brennan knocking boots was a bit of a letdown, I don't even care because it was the catalyst for my discovery of this show. While I definitely need to quell my obsession for this show (I have watched all four seasons, all the way through, at least three times now), that will be for another day, because for now, I am happy living in my fangirl bubble.
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