Christmas Time is Here: The Best Christmas Movies

Merry Christmas, blog-readers! Or Happy Holidays to any varying denominational readers (but I am really not aware of any)! I figured what better way to spend my Christmas Eve morning than to conclude my holiday series and detail my favorite Christmas movies for you. So let’s get into the countdown, shall we?

10. The Santa Clause (1994) – Ah, the 90s. Where Tim Allen was king and Judge Reinhold had a little more going for him other than Mock Trial with J. Reinhold. This one was definitely a childhood fav, but I had to relegate it to the tenth place because I was too young to understand the double meaning of the title so it will forever make me hesitate when I go to write Santa Claus’ name. Curses be upon you, Disney and your clever wordplay!
9. Miracle on 34th Street (1994) – Before you look higher on the list, no, the black and white version is not there. And before you go on iMDb, yes, this is the Dylan McDermott version with the girl from Matilda and the grandpa from Jurassic Park. I’m just going to say it. I like this one, I will not apologize for that. If you want an apology talk to my mom who bought me the VHS of this version and not the 1947 version when I was at the tender age of 7.
8. While You Were Sleeping (1995) – Ok, so not specifically marketed as a Christmas movie, but I still like watching during this time of year and it has all the attributes. Set during Christmas, check. Message about being around loved ones, check. Bill Pullman slipping on ice and ripping pants, check. Finding a new family in the least likely of places, check. Crazy coma hijinx, check. So not all of those are necessary to a Christmas movie, but they don’t hurt.
7. The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992) – Basically, I just love the Muppets. The only thing that could have possibly made this better: Muppet…wait for it…Babies. Nah, we’ll just leave it as is. And really I owe a lot to this movie. Michael Cain and Scrooge McDuck really introduced me to the concept of being a Scrooge.
6. Home Alone (1990) – Oddly enough, I like this movie more with age. I cry a lot more, too. I’m sorry but you would have to be a robot to not tear up when after hours in airports and on a van with John Candy, Kevin’s mom is finally able to see her son on Christmas morning. Then, you know, there’s the whole bad-guy-booby-trap thing that is going on in the rest of the movie. Awesome.
5. It’s a Wonderful Life (1946) – I know, you’re shocked. A movie that is usually number one on Christmas lists and I have it at number five. This is another one that I was introduced to later in life. It gets on the list because even if I only see the last five minutes, I will still weep openly and thoroughly.
4. Scrooged (1988) – Another one during which I cry (Wow, I have a problem). Nobody does curmedgeon-who-needs-to-change-his-ways-on-a-nationally-recognized-holiday better than Bill Murray. He has more funny lines than I have room to quote them, so just go watch the movie if you want a laugh (or a cry, look into that little boy’s eyes as he says “God bless us, everyone” and try to keep it in).
3. Elf (2003) – Easily one of my most quoted movies, and that’s 365 days out of the year, my friends. “Francisco, that’s fun to say”, “Buddy the Elf, what’s your favorite color?”, “I like to whisper, too?”, “You sit on a throne of lies”, “Bye Buddy, hope you find your dad”, “You smell like beef and cheese.” I suppose I could keep going, but you get the gist and it’s really Will Ferrell’s delivery that makes the movie so funny. Bonus: This movie introduced me to Zooey Deschanel’s singing voice leading me to discover She & Him. Thanks, Elf!
2. Love Actually (2003) – Disclaimer: This movie only gets demoted to number two because it doesn’t quite ring “Christmas movie” like my number one choice does. Those of you who know me know that I love love love this movie, actually. I could go on for a whole blog post about how much I love this movie (hmmm….), but I’ll just say this: I cry every time during the airport footage at the very end, I love everyone in this movie, and I just love the accurate portrayal of …love. Sometimes it’s happy, sometimes it sucks, sometimes it’s romantic, sometimes it’s with family and friends. Just delightful. Never ceases to literally warm my heart. Yes, literally.
1. A Christmas Story (1983) – In my opinion, THE seminal Christmas classic. I could quote the whole thing, but so could most of you, I’m sure. This movie is forever a part of my concept of Christmas. Some families have decking the halls or caroling, my family has A Christmas Story.

So there you have it. Now you have a complete understanding of my preferences in Christmas fare. Well, you know the drill. Did I miss anything? Would you have put one movie over the other? Oh and MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL!!

Christmas Time is Here: The Best Holiday Episodes. EVER!

As further evidence of how much time I have on my hands, I give you the following scenario: In the past few days, I have gone through and watched all the holiday episodes of shows I have on DVD. Why would I do this? To rank them, of course! It was actually quite fun. Some of these, I haven’t watched in a long time and some are brand new additions to the Holiday Episode list. Keep in mind that I don’t own every show and I am very biased in my selection of the “best holiday episodes ever”, but I think you can enjoy my list regardless.

10. “Comparative Religion” Community: Season 1 – I have been on a bit of a Community kick since watching this episode because I proceeded to watch the rest of season 1 again. Personally, the hotness that is Joel McHale aside, I think this is one of the funniest shows on TV right now and I am glad to see that the critics and viewers are starting to come around (and for you AD fans out there, it has a real Bluthy vibe to it, so go watch it). This episode is the perfect blend of touching and high-larious. Shirley being tested by her multi-faith group is gold, the fight against Farmer Ted and the cast of Breakin' is epic, but the best is the group scorning Jeff for being agnostic. “To me religion is like Paul Rudd, I see the appeal and, I would never take it away from anyone, but I would also never stand in line for it.” Agree to disagree.
9. “Christmas Joy” Psych: Season 3 – This one almost gets a mention solely for the Charlie Brown dance after they save Santa, but I like the rest of the episode, too. Shawn trying to avoid the advances of Gus’ sister in front of Gus is very funny and I love Henry and Shawn’s guessing game.
8. “Christmas Special” 30 Rock: Season 3 – In my book, it doesn’t get much better than Liz Lemon ruining Christmas for some kids and Jack finding out that his mom took F.A.O. Schwartz as her gentlemen lover (“Uhh that word bums me out unless it's between the words meat and pizza”) to make Christmas for him as a kid.
7. “Afternoon Delight” Arrested Development: Season 2 – Ah, Christmas. The time of year when you have parties on Bethlehem time, sing about daytime lovin’ with your niece, and let kids get their grubby little hands all over a $3000 dollar suit. Come on!
6. “The Polarizing Express” Psych: Season 5 – I waited to post this until after this episode aired on Wednesday because I knew I would want to add it. It is exactly what you would want out of an It’s a Wonderful Life episode from Psych written and directed by James Roday: bizarre, hilarious, and Gus in a UPN sitcom in the 90s. This episode only further solidifies my love for Roday.
5. “Abed’s Uncontrollable Christmas” Community: Season 2 – This is another late entry, but I had to add this stop-motion, musical spectacular. Um, Abed finding out that the meaning of Christmas is the first season of Lost on DVD because Christmas can mean whatever we want it to mean? Brilliant, uproarious, and kind of sweet. Also, this episode gave me my new favorite Christmas mascot. Christmas Pterodactyl!
4. “Christmas Party” The Office: Season 2 – This one made me all sorts of nostalgic for the (now fulfilled) sexual tension of Jim and Pam. It also had some other great stuff, too. Michael’s impromptu Yankee Swap to get rid of the homemade oven mitt, Creed's equally impromptu Secret Santa gift, Angela’s babies-playing-saxes poster, and Meredith flashing Michael. “Happy birthday, Jesus. Sorry your party's so lame.”
3. “Bath Item Gift Hypothesis” The Big Bang Theory: Season 2 – Sheldon really struggles with what to reciprocate Penny’s Christmas gift with so he buys up every gift basket in Bath and Body Works with plans to pick the present that best fits her gift to him in terms of price. And while I enjoy this whole episode, I adore the last five minutes. When Sheldon receives Penny’s … you know what, just go watch this.
2. “Santa in the Slush” Bones: Season 3 – Ah, the good old days when the only person getting into the Bones-Booth mix was Caroline bribing them into kissing under the mistletoe. I love Caroline. While the whole first-kiss aspect really helped it get up to the number 2 spot I also just think this is a perfect Christmas episode. You have the gore and mystery with a dead Santa in a sewer, you have the funny with Booth having to sniff Santas, you have the whimsy with Santa’s apartment above a toy store, and you have the touching with Booth giving Brennan her Christmas tree. Le sigh. These two really need to work out their stuff, pronto!
1. “Santa Claus Conquers the Martians” Mystery Science Theater 3000: Season 3 – In answer to your question, yes, this movie is as ridiculous as it sounds. In fact, probably more so. But that is what makes Joel and the bots making fun of it so great. Then you couple their commentary with their performance of “A Patrick Swayze Christmas”, a seminal Christmas carol classic, and you get pure holiday magic.

Phew! That's a lot of linking for your viewing pleasure, there you have it! Do you have any shows you like with great Christmas episodes that I should check out? Do you disagree with my order? Not that I am going to change my mind, but I would love to at least pretend to listen to your feedback. Check out my favorite Christmas specials and stay tuned for my favorite holiday movies!

Christmas Time is Here: My Top 10 Favorite Christmas Specials

“Christmas! I looooove Christmas!” As you can tell from this blog, I love movies and TV. Combine that with my love for this time of year and you come to the conclusion that I love Christmas entertainment. While every family has their traditions, one of my family’s favorite traditions is to watch our favorite Christmas programming in the days leading up to the 25th. In this first of three part Christmas-themed blog post series, I am going to countdown my top 10 favorite Christmas TV specials.

10. Frosty the Snowman – I chose this one partly because it’s a classic and partly because I love how doofy Frosty is. Although I suppose a day-old snowman can only be expected to have so much intelligence. I still love his “Happy Birthday!” And is it just me or is there some liberal propaganda in this children’s special? Death by greenhouse…effect?
9. Mr. Krueger’s Christmas – I gained my love for this one just last year while at the MTC because it was the closest thing we could get to secular Christmas viewing: an old man conducting the Mormon Tabernacle Choir
8. Extras: The Extra Special Series Finale – Apparently, Ricky Gervais like to end his shows with epic Christmas specials, which made it very difficult for me to NOT put both of them on this list. First of all, if you have not seen this show and like your celebrity cameos with some bite (Kate Winslet giving advice on how to talk dirty, Orlando Bloom refusing to believe he is less attractive than Johnny Depp, and Daniel Radcliffe trying to seduce every woman he meets to name a few), then I recommend this show. The Christmas special is perfect holiday fare as the main character, Andy, struggles to maintain his dignity and relationships with the onslaught of fame. The ending is a perfect blend of touching and funny with just the right amount of things left unsaid.
7. A Colbert Christmas: The Greatest Gift of All! – Colbert trapped in bear country! The horrors! This one gets a spot on the list solely for John Legend’s “Nutmeg” slow- jam and Colbert’s “Operation Humble Kanye” campaign to get the soundtrack higher on the iTunes charts than the self-proclaimed “voice of this generation of this decade”. Pay close attention to the following over-exaggerated eye roll. Oh brother.
6. A Disney Christmas Gift – I actually haven’t watched this one since we made the move from VHS to DVD because it got lost in the transition, but I have always been a sucker for nostalgia. I will always loved Chip n’ Dale messing with Pluto while decking the halls.
5. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer – Classic Christmas, but still awesome. I mean, you have an elf who wants to be a dentist, a Charlie-in-the-box, and Yukon Cornelius. There’s nowhere to go wrong. Also, one of the most quoted lines in the Lloyd house: “She thinks I’m cute!”
4. The Office Christmas Specials – I’m sorry but I had to. If you know me at all and if you know what happens in the last ten minutes, then you know why.
3. How the Grinch Stole Christmas – I’ll have the Roast Beast and Who-hash platter, but hold the Jim Carrey. Blegh. That’s just wrong.
2. A Charlie Brown Christmas – File this one under “A-duh!” This is pure Christmas perfection with the best dance sequence ever. I could list all of my favorite bits, but how about you just take the 30 minutes to watch it yourself. Added Christmas bonus message: If you are patient enough with kids who are really crappy to you, they’ll magically decorate your twig to become a Christmas tree.
1. Pee-Wee’s Playhouse Christmas Special – This one gets billing over Charlie Brown mainly because I saw it on a list the worst Christmas specials today. I know you are but what am I? Say what you will about Pee-Wee’s “extra-curricular activities” outside the playhouse, but I laugh harder at this every year. Get into the Christmas spirit as Magic Screen reunites with his cousin Magic Johnson, as Chairy meets Cher, and as Pee-Wee comes up with a solution to his fruitcake problem.

Did I miss your favorite? Stay tuned for my top 10 favorite holidays episodes and holiday movies!

Okay, just hear me out...

I am now going to try and convince you to give another show a try. But before you all launch into me about how ridiculous it is that I like it, nay, love it, just hear me out. I confessed to liking The Vampire Diaries in my previous post about guilty pleasures, but now I am just going to take that off, because I am not embarrassed. I, Ellen Lloyd, along with tweens across the nation, love The Vampire Diaries. Yes, hiss and boo at me if you must but I am not ashamed! (Continues after picture...)

My journey to finding The Vampire Diaries began like most of my pop culture forays do, with a mention from Entertainment Weekly. A lot of you know that I am obsessed with this magazine and its accompanying website. It is responsible for getting me into Comic Con, Buffy, Firefly, Spaced, and Bones, to name a very few. When they had their Sexiest Beast Alive bracket game, I found it quite amusing. I followed the results and voted when I had a favorite in the running (e.g. David Borenanaz, Doctor Who, Hugh Jackman). Imagine my shock and surprise when someone from THE VAMPIRE DIARIES took out my beloved Booth in a head to head match-up. “Who does this show from the frickin’ CW think it is?” I wondered. David had had the whole Whedon fandom behind him and that is a force to be reckoned with. How did this happen? I began to lose interest when all my favorites were out of the running and when it got to the finals with Damon (Ian Somerhalder) from The Vampire Diaries and Edward from Twilight, I figured it was a done deal because Team Edward would rally and make Twilight be victorious. Boo. Then came my issue of Entertainment Weekly announcing that the winner was…Damon from The Vampire Diaries?!?!? What the what? After reading a rather amusing acceptance article and more about the show in the magazine, I decided to see why my beloved magazine loved this show so much.

I first watched the premiere of second season, and while I wasn’t completely sold, I decided to give it a chance and watched the first season. After about three episodes, I was hooked. Not only are all the men (mystical and human) in the town of Mystic Falls b-e-a-utiful and thus extremely easy and delightful to watch, but it is the only show that continues to surprise me. After every episode, I am exclaiming, “I can’t believe that just happened” and wiping brain matter off the wall because my mind was just blown. Now don’t get the wrong idea, I am not talking crazy theories like Lost or separate realities like Fringe, but they kill people off, have couples you thought would never get together hook up, and make you go from hating someone to loving them all the time.

Most of you are probably like I was and don’t want to bow down to the vampire craze, but this is where, in my opinion, you should make an exception. If you like your vampires with less hardcore sex scenes than True Blood or if you prefer them to be played by better actors than Twilight, look no further than The Vampire Diaries, my friends. And then when you have started watching and gotten sucked in, come find me and tell me the answer to this: Team Damon of Team Stefan? But don’t expect us to still be friends if you are Team Stefan.

In Case I Haven't Already Tried to Convince You: Psych

(NOTE: I had written an even longer post and then realized I had one basically identical that I had written a couple years ago, so I edited this one down a little and tried to pick more recent quotes. I am including a link to the old post if you want to know more about the plot and such.)

Recently, my obsession for a certain pineapple-flavored bromance has re-ignited. Maybe it’s because a certain show with a certain new whorish character is infuriating me so I am having to shift my obsessive focus onto another show or maybe it’s because with USA’s crazy summer season/winter season schedule I had briefly forgotten how much I love it. But I digress. Psych is back, my friends and in a big, big way. First of all, if you don’t watch Psych, shame on you. In my opinion, it is one of the most underrated comedies on TV. Some say it is TOO goofy or TOO light or has TOO many pop culture references, but these are the reasons I love it.

After the winter season premiere and getting a little high-pitched squealy about of the developments that took place, I got on one of my Psych kicks and watched all five seasons again (including audio commentaries), because I have THAT kind of time on my hands and because that episode reminded me how much I love this show. I have been bombarding my mother with factoids I gleaned from special features and my friends with quotes via text messaging (but you truly know you are obsessesed when you quote their Comic Con panel). It is totes one of my most quoted TV shows, on a short list with 30 Rock and Arrested Development. That being said, I thought I would leave with some of my favorite quotes, but bear in mind that they are even better when you can hear James Roday’s delivery of them in your head. (This is a shortened version of a very long list).

JT Waring: Do you understand about honor, Mr. Spencer?
Shawn: Of course I do. I have a bootleg copy of Saving Private Ryan at home.

Lassiter: What do you two know about street racing anyway?
Shawn:Only what we learned from The Fast and The Furious. So... everything.

Gus: You've never read the Bible, have you?
Shawn: Sure. There's Genesis. Exorcist. Leviathan. Do... the right thing.

Major General Felts: I assume you realize this kind of idiocy will not be tolerated on my base!
Shawn:Is there another type of idiocy you would be more comfortable with?

Juliet O'Hara: Well, Lassiter's really got your goat, huh?
Shawn: Yeah, he does, and I want it back. God knows what he's doing to that poor thing.

Shawn: I don't lose things. I place things in locations which later elude me.

Gus: Do you think it could be PTSD?
Shawn: I think it's slightly more serious than a mere menstrual issue.

Have I sold you? (If you are actually interested, the first four seasons are on Netflix instant streaming, making it even easier for you to become as fanatical as me!)

My Top Ten Guiltiest Pleasures

Recently, I realized that there are more than a few things that I enjoy with shame. You know what I am talking about. The shows that you watch with your hand over the channel change button in case someone comes in or the music you listen to only with headphones. But why is this? Obviously, if these things are still being produced then I can’t be alone. So I decided to come clean about the things I am embarrassed about to the two of you who read this blog. You can let me know in the comments if I am alone in these pleasures or you can even use this as a sort of confessional about your own shameful methods of entertainment. This is a judge-free zone.

10. Chick Lit – Anyone who has been to a bookstore with me can tell you that my method of browsing is shameful. I keep my eye open for pink covers and curly fonts. I feel that with a BA in English I should find more enjoyment in highbrow literature, but I still revert to my rosy bookshelf when I have free time. I constantly thanked heaven for Jane Austen being considered an appropriate subject for theses.
9. Bollywood Dance Workout- Look it up. I dare you not to enjoy working out to these.
8. Say Yes to the Dress- I am not ashamed of watching this show. I AM ashamed of the four hour marathons, though. And I’m ashamed of the realization that I will be one of those brides who cries in the showroom because I can’t make a decision.
7. Time Life commercials- If I am flipping through the channels late at night and one of these infomercials for a compilation CD is on, I will always stop. What can I say? I love having Malt Shoppe Memories one line of a song at time.
6. Taylor Swift- My shame here lies in the fact that I am not a fifteen-year-old girl and that I already own the two singles from her yet unreleased album. And I like them.
5. Dance movies- No matter how bad the movie is, I will watch any dance movie for the last fifteen minutes. (See: the rain scene in Step Up 2: The Streets, the onstage-sex-ballet in Center Stage, the ménage à tango in Take the Lead)
4. Vampire Diaries- This one has a lot of things working against it: Vampires, primetime soap, audience mainly comprising of tween girls, CW. But it’s like Pringles, once you pop, the fun don’t stop. I watched one episode and got hooked. And no, it wasn’t just because of this.
3. Kesha- The very definition of “dirty pirate hooker”. I am well aware that she cannot sing to save her life, that her lyrics include dental hygiene by whiskey, and that she lusts after Mick Jagger (shudder), but I can’t help myself. I too want to party ‘til the po-po shut us down.
2. This song- Call it nostalgia, call it a weird affinity for really kitschy stuff from the 80s, call it bad taste in music, call it whatever you want, but I love this song. The truly embarrassing factor is the lengths I took to track down a downloadable version of the song and album artwork.
1. Bones fanfiction – Disgrace numero uno. I am too ashamed to even explain what it is. Just look it up. (Hangs head in shame). But also remember that people have to write it in order for me to read it.

So there you have it. Can we still be friends?

My Very Own Sophie's Choice

Ok, everyone, I know there has been a lot of speculation and tittle tattle out there, so I am just going to come out and officially release my statement on this controversial topic. After countless hours spent doing research to officially come to this decision, I can safely say that I am firm in my conclusion: TV is better than movies. Let’s take a look at my findings on the matter:
1. Where have all the new plots gone? I am becoming increasingly disappointed in the level of creativity being exhibited in movies. My heart literally bled when I heard they were remaking Girls Just Wanna Have Fun. (I swear if anyone who has ever been on the Disney Channel is in this someone is going to get fork stabbed. That goes doubly if said twit is wearing a large cricket in her hair. Some things are sacred.) Why can’t they lay off the classics? Footloose? Romancing the Stone? MY FAIR LADY? For shame. And the thing that really gets my goat is that I will probably go see all of them. I’m weak. Now I realize that television is starting to follow suit (Hawaii 5-O, Rockford Files, and Nikita, I’m talking to you!), but I still don’t see them to be quite as guilty in this respect.
2. TV is the Everlasting Gobstopper of entertainment. With this statement, I am referring to the hypothetical candy in the 1971 classic film that is actually everlasting. Layer upon layer of sugary goodness until you reach the center years later or you accidentally swallow it (cancellation). Movies are like the Gobstopper that you can buy at your local grocery store: finished in two bites.
3. I believe the children are our future, and we are insulting their intelligence by making every movie for them in 3D. In my day, we watched our cartoons in 2D and we paid a lot less to watch them! TV shows aren’t resorting to these gimmicks… yet. And I wish they would stop trying.
4. Step it Up 2: The Streets, Movies! I speak here in generalities, but I have been more impressed with the quality of TV being produced than that being exhibited in movies. Granted the trash on TV is much more disheartening than that in theatres, but I would hope that movies would try harder to match some of the greatness that is on TV right now.
5. Now I ain’t sayin’ she’s a gold digger… I really have nothing to say here except that TV has affordability strongly in its favor, and movies are getting pretty greedy.
Movies were my first love. I could never forget the good times that we have shared. They will always be a huge part of my life and as per the divorce settlement, I will still be spending way too much on them every month. Maybe you will say that I am siding with TV because my feelings are fresh and new, but say what you will. All I know is I feel young again when I am with TV, and it gives me what I need in a relationship…with an entertainment medium. You can look forward to our Christmas letter.

I See Fake People.

I had a rough night last night. After watching “Fashion Police: Primetime Emmys Edition” like I did, you would have, too. First, let’s move past the part where we judge me for watching anything on E! besides The Soup. And no, the fashion was not SO horrible that it caused night terrors. No, it was this:

Yes, my night was filled with Gangy – esque hauntings. Why are we still letting Joan Rivers on the air? Why are we as a society encouraging this kind of behavior? And I am not only talking about the dozens of face lifts. She is mean! She said that Anna Paquin must have bought her teeth at the Gap. Really, Joan? We’re going to go there? Where did you buy your face? A Tupperware party? Oh, snap!!

My Latest Obsession: White Collar

Don't worry, I am still a vigilant Bones, Psych, etc. -fan, but what is a girl supposed to do during these summer hiatuses except find a new show? With my mom scheduling us for the panel at Comic Con (more on that to come), everyone telling me I should watch it, and then this picture, White Collar just seemed like a natural choice to cure the Summertime Blues that only TV watchers suffer from.
If you are not one of the people that hounded me about watching this show and you are not watching, I suggest you change that ASAP. It is good fun. I love watching Neal and Peter develop their "besties" relationship.
I will be honest, I was at first reticent because I thought the star, Matt Bomer, was too pretty for my next TV crush. I mean look at the picture above! But once I watched the show and realized that he is not naturally airbrushed, he's devastatingly charming, and, in some episodes, shirtless, I was sold. I think you will be, too.